Thinking About You
by LoveKuroneko
Summary: Anna suffers from her hidden feelings. Can she conquer it all and finally open up?
1. My Hidden Feelings

I don't own any Shaman King characters so just enjoy the story!  
  
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Anna heard the front door open and close.  
  
Was it him?  
  
The sound of approaching footsteps made her stand up. Is he just going to enter her room?  
  
The footsteps died down. She recognized the clack-clack of Yoh's sandals.  
  
So it was him.  
  
Great, I hate staying alone in this lonely house. I don't have any friends, there's just him. And even he.  
  
She made her way downstairs and carefully made sure that Yoh was in his room. Yes, he was there. Listening to music, like always.  
  
Chuckling under her breath, Anna lightly stepped on the stairs going down. She walked over to the couch and heavily fell on it.  
  
Sigh.  
  
Is this going to go on forever?  
  
No! It can't, but how can it change?  
  
She picked up the remote control and clicked through the channels. As soon as she heard the same clack-clack of Yoh's sandals, she immediately forced herself to pay full attention to the channel she left off on.  
  
Weather Channel.Great.  
  
"Good weather?" asked Yoh and that made Anna jump a little.  
  
She was always so tense around him.  
  
Just relax, come on. This is only Yoh. Only Yoh? .  
  
Anna searched her mind for a quick answer, but failed to find anything suitable for her usual behavior. She muttered something that sounded like she agreed to Yoh's remark.  
  
That rarely happens. What is wrong with me?  
  
Yoh walked around the back of the couch and slumped in front of the TV, making sure he didn't bother Anna in any way.  
  
"Did you run around the lake like I said?" said Anna in an unnatural voice that didn't even come close to her normal tone.  
  
Yoh nodded and he put on a sour face to show how much he hated it. Anna wanted to laugh out loud at the sight of that. Of course, she couldn't do that.but why?  
  
Anna gave a half-glance at Yoh; she didn't want to look directly in his eyes. He put on his headphones over his ears again.  
  
Just for once I'd wish he didn't do that every time we were alone in the same room. He just doesn't get it.Well.  
  
Anna sighed heavily. What was she going to do? Can she live such a miserable life? And then on top of that, make Yoh suffer as well. She wanted to apologize to him, make him understand, break down and cry.  
  
Maybe even in his arms.  
  
She shook her head vigorously, trying to shake away the thought. It caught Yoh's attention. He removed his headphones.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
Ooh, no. I wish he didn't have to say that. Now I have to be mean to him again so that he can't suspect anything. However.maybe just walking away would make no one angry.maybe.  
  
"Uhh." was all she could say. Yoh looked funny at her.  
  
"Well," he said. "If you don't want to say it, then don't. I'm not pressuring you to."  
  
Just great, real nice. Why couldn't I just say "It's nothing, Yoh." Just say it, what's the harm in that? All the harm in the world imaginable. Oohh.  
  
"I-it's nothing," she finally managed to choke out with great difficulty. She must look like a total fool, and in front of Yoh.  
  
"You sure?" he asked.  
  
No. Don't pressure it, Yoh. If you say something else, slave-driver Anna will come into play. She will make you run twice the length than that puny lake. I cannot control that. Please just stay quiet!  
  
"Yes," she replied very quickly and stood up. She hurriedly walked upstairs into her room. She smashed the door and was afraid it would fall off its hinges.  
  
Oh, I hope Yoh didn't hear that. What is he, deaf? Of course he could hear that. Kso.  
  
Anna slowly made her way toward the window. It was very peaceful out there. Amidamaru was in the backyard, doing something.  
  
Like I really care what that samurai is doing? Downright lie. Of course I care about all of Yoh's little friends. Even Manta.  
  
Speaking of Manta, he was walking down the stone path up to Amidamaru. They both entered the house. They must have gone for Yoh.  
  
She felt a hot tear going down her cheek. She quickly wiped it off. Though she couldn't help it, so she broke down into tears.  
  
Why am I the one to suffer? Maybe if I was a little nicer? No, I can't become soft, Yoh will use that against me. He will not train. I cannot believe the only memories of me he has are when I made him cry. I never meant to make him miserable, but maybe I'm being much too selfish.  
  
Oh, God, this is giving me such a headache. I gotta lie down, now.  
  
Anna felt the soft and warm sheets under her. So comfortable. She smelled something in the air. Was Yoh making dinner already?  
  
Another surge of guilt spread over her.  
  
I don't mean to be so terrible to you. But you can't understand, no one does.  
  
Her thoughts wandered to her parents.  
  
No! Get them out of your head! I don't want to think about them! Ever!  
  
She heard voices downstairs. It looked like they were having fun burning up the kitchen.  
  
I'm the only one here that is miserable and no one even has a clue. I wish I could at least talk to someone about this .baka.  
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Next Chapter Preview: Anna feels that she is getting even more separated from everybody else. Yoh isn't any help either. What can she do? 


	2. Will I Always Be Alone?

Yoh: A few words about the previous chapter. Anna feels miserable, I'm no help and we continue from when I was making supper. So, read!  
  
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"Oy! Anna!" She quickly picked herself up. "You want dinner?"  
  
Yoh.I can always count on you, only you to never forget about me. But if I never came.would we never see each other? He would probably be glad if I just left. But I can't.  
  
The door opened. Anna's eyes opened wide. There was Yoh, in an apron that was supposed to be white, holding a spatula. They must have burned down half the house.  
  
I can never leave them alone even for a minute.  
  
"No, I'll skip." She replied quickly looking him up and down. Yoh must have noticed that.  
  
"Ehhehe," he replied, scratching his head. "At least we didn't burn the whole kitchen."  
  
She was silent.  
  
"Oh, come on," he said. "The dinner came out fine. You have to scratch off a few dark spots but otherwise it's eatable."  
  
In truth she didn't want to starve to death anyway.  
  
She stood up and brushed past Yoh.  
  
If only.  
  
Anna came downstairs not daring to look at either the samurai or Manta. They made their best to act casual and not make Anna angry.  
  
I'm not angry at all. I just wish you would wipe those scared expressions off your faces and meet me with a smile. Argh, of course, I brought it all down on myself.  
  
She sat down, not sure where Yoh would be sitting. She wanted to be as far away from him as possible, in case he had some powers to sense that something was wrong with her.  
  
Amidamaru and Manta also sat down.  
  
Ooh, no. Just great. They left an empty seat right near me. The chair is even brushing against my leg. Kso, kso.  
  
Yoh came five minutes later.  
  
What was he doing all this time? I can't suspect him for trying to find clues of why I was acting that way. I didn't leave any tears on the windowsill, did I? Baka.  
  
He sat down in the remaining chair. Anna felt like standing up and leaving at that second. Something held her back. What was it?  
  
Yoh passed her a plate with rice and, what was that? Salmon? Most likely, that was what I asked him to buy. No, correction, ordered him to buy.  
  
She couldn't help but sigh again. Yoh looked at her for a second before moving his eyes away.  
  
Argh.  
  
She picked up a fork. Well, here goes. She poked the food with the appliance. No way to turn back. She put the food into her mouth.  
  
Not bad, really. I'm NOT trying to be nice to Yoh, it's actually pretty good. Ok, now how can I send that message without attracting the slightest attention?  
  
She closed her eyes. Doesn't that feel good, just making everyone disappear whenever she felt like being in darkness? Though, without Yoh.  
  
Opening her eyes, she saw that everyone was busy in a conversation, she didn't try to listen. She felt happy that no one took notice in her spacing out and not giving any comments to the food.  
  
Yoh shifted in his seat.  
  
How I want to be able to open my feelings, just laugh along with everyone else, lean on Yoh's shoulder, forget about my problems. If I will not stop thinking about that, I will most likely do that.  
  
She looked at Yoh. He had his head leaned on his arm.  
  
He looks so warm, so inviting. Can't I just fall onto him, just for a little bit? Say that I care about him, run upstairs and curse myself off?  
  
Anna made a disgusting face to herself. This was no time for day dreaming about something that may never even happen. But, why? Why can't it happen? Ahh.I'm asking myself things I can't put together.  
  
She hastily finished the rest of her dinner. She wanted to be alone again. Lost in her own little world, which involved him.  
  
I'll just go then. But no, I don't want to go. I want him to be close to me in reality. Kso, kso, kso! She stood up.  
  
"I'm going to bed," she said.  
  
How I wish you could come along with me. I'd be grateful for even just coming with me to say 'good night'. Is that too much to ask? Yes.  
  
She silently walked around the table toward the stairs. Manta returned to talking with Yoh and Amidamaru.  
  
They didn't take notice in my weird behavior, good. But a part of me kinda wishes they did. Just to be sure that I'm not the only one that cares about me.  
  
Deciding to take a long, hot bath, she changed her course and walked toward the bathroom. She noticed that Yoh had been trying to wipe his dirty face with their only clean towel.  
  
Sigh. He even left the burned up apron in here. Shouldn't it go into the garbage?  
  
Anna filled up the bath with hot water and put in some scented liquid to make it all foamy. Something to take her mind off Yoh.  
  
She took off her usual black dress and lowered herself into the bath. It felt really good to wipe your troubles away, even if just for a few minutes.  
  
I gotta force myself into believing that whatever I'm doing to Yoh is for his own good. Not just because I want to be the wife of a Shaman King. But if I wasn't confident that he would become one, would I ever venture here? Maybe.  
  
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Preview of Chapter 3: Anna is surprised by something unsuspected. Can she get out of it before any damage is made? 


	3. His Shirt

Anna: We left off where I left the table to take a bath. What will happen after that?  
  
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After about ten minutes she washed herself up and put on her pajamas.  
  
What time is it?  
  
She walked into the hall and looked at the clock hanging from the wall.  
  
12:24  
  
It's that late? I should check on Yoh and go to bed.  
  
Anna softly made her way to Yoh's room. She didn't hear any music from inside. Though, the door was closed.  
  
Maybe he's already sleeping? Well, I gotta make sure he's where he's supposed to be.  
  
Very, very quietly she opened the door, without making a sound. She peered into the room. It was very dark in there, but she could see with the help of the moonlight that Yoh was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful.  
  
Would he notice if I came and stroked his hair? What harm is there in that?  
  
She walked over to his bed on tip-toe and sat on the edge. He didn't stir.  
  
Is he pretending to be asleep? I'll kill him if he is.  
  
She reached her hand for his hair. She touched it slightly and quickly withdrew her hand back, as though the hair had burned her skin.  
  
I'll try not to freak out this time.  
  
She picked up her hand and heard a soft moan. She gasped a little. Yoh was shifting in his sleep.  
  
Ooh, please go back to sleep. Go ahead, sleep. I'm just your guardian angel, looking over you. Sleep.  
  
To her immense relief, Yoh was still sleeping. Though now he was lying on his back, rather than on his side. She felt a little queasy, as if his eyes would open any second and he would know she was there.  
  
Come on; stroke his hair and go, NOW!  
  
Hand shaking a little, she let her fingers glide through his soft hair.  
  
How I wish I didn't have to do this in secret. I shouldn't push it. I have to go to bed.  
  
Being careful not to make any sound, she stood up and walked out of the room. She closed the door behind her and walked in the direction of her own room.  
  
Alone, again.  
Anna opened her eyes groggily. She looked at the time. It was 11: 42.  
  
Jeez, it's morning already? I should go down and scream at Yoh for trying to sleep in.  
  
Still half asleep, she went downstairs. She felt very cold. She forgot her robe. Looking at the stairs, she decided that it would be too much trouble to go back up. Wasn't there anything she can use instead for now?  
  
It was very dark in the living room.  
  
Has the sun decided to rise late today as well? Damn it, I'm really cold.  
  
She was covered in goose bumps.  
  
Just grab something that's there on the couch. I can't see what it is. But I'm really cold.  
  
Careful not to trip on anything in the dark, she walked over to the couch and picked up the piece of cloth.  
  
It'll do. Even though it's not something very warm, I just hate being cold.  
  
She put it on and seemed to feel better.  
  
Hmm. it doesn't feel like something I would wear. Is it one of my old clothes that I brought from home? As long as I'm comfortable, I don't care.  
  
Anna stood there for a moment trying to remember where she was going in the first place. Ahh.yes, to wash up.  
  
She moved toward the bathroom and opened the door. She was looking for the switch and finally found it. The lights clicked on and Anna walked over to the mirror. She almost fell.  
  
She was wearing Yoh's shirt. How could I have been so stupid as to not realize that there is another being living in here that wears clothes?  
  
She softly hit her head against the wall.  
  
Baka.  
  
She washed up, but didn't take off Yoh's shirt. Why? She wasn't very sure of that.  
  
She sprinted back up to her room.  
  
What am I gonna do? I can't go into his room and just give it back. I'd look like such a foolish little child, playing a game.  
  
She didn't want to take off the shirt just yet anyway. It felt really comfortable. And to think that Yoh wears it all the time. Yoh.  
  
Ack! That IS the only shirt he wears. Unless he's training. And he's not. That means he will be looking for it.  
  
Anna's eyes went wild. What to do? What to do?  
  
She took off the shirt and put it on her lap. Huh.  
  
Someone knocked at the door.  
  
She quickly hid the shirt behind her.  
  
"What is it?" she asked in her usual annoying tone.  
  
Yoh slowly opened the door and walked in.  
  
"Have you seen my shirt?" he asked.  
  
Am I psychic or what?  
  
"How am I supposed to know where you put your things? Maybe it's downstairs."  
  
He looked a little sad. Damn it.  
  
Yoh closed the door and she heard his sandals going clack-clack against the stairs.  
  
This is my chance. I have to go and put the shirt back in his room. Hurry up!  
  
Forcing herself to stand up, she ran into Yoh's room, holding the shirt.  
  
I don't want to let go of it. Yoh will come back any second, baka, just leave the thing here and get out of here!!  
  
Anna placed the shirt on a chair that was near the window.  
  
Good, now get out of here. Go!  
  
She walked out of the room making sure that Yoh wasn't on his way back. She slid into her room and closed the door.  
  
Oh, thank God that's over. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Chapter 4 Preview: Anna goes out for a walk, but soon finds herself lost. Her thoughts wander to thinking of foolish things and can she ever be her old self again? 


	4. Lost

Yoh: Anna returned my shirt. Yes, I KNOW. I read the chapter, duh. Anyway, back to the story.  
  
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She changed into her black dress and picked up her bandana. She seriously needed to get away from this house, maybe for a little bit. Yoh can rest today. I haven't figured out what training to give him today anyway.  
  
Wishing not to be questioned on anything else, she walked out the front door without a word.  
  
It was a nice afternoon. Everything DID seem to bloom in the spring. It will soon be summer. Just a few more days of that cram school. I can't concentrate on anything because of him.  
  
Anna walked around the town a few times. What else could she do? She didn't even bring that much money to go shopping for clothes.  
  
Guess I'll just go and buy myself a lunch. I wonder what Yoh is doing?  
  
She paid for her cream cheese bagel and soda at the counter and descended out of the restaurant.  
  
I don't feel like staying somewhere with much people. I'll just go and sit on a bench by the lake.  
  
The benches were all full. Mostly with couples snuggled together, gazing at the lake. That made Anna even more furious.  
  
She walked over to a tree and sat underneath its shadow. She leaned on the trunk and enjoyed the fresh air.  
  
After finishing her bagel and soda, she thought about going home. But was this a right time to go?  
  
Yoh must be celebrating that I let him off the hook about not training today.  
  
The thought made her smile. She closed her eyes and pictured Yoh once again.  
  
I wonder if he feels the same way that I do about him.  
  
She spent the whole day under that tree. It was getting dark again.  
  
I have to go already? I just wanted to stay for another five minutes. But I don't want to get lost because of the dark. Every time I went out and it was dark, Yoh was always by my side. It's so sad that he isn't with me. Doesn't he even care what happened to me? Kso.  
  
She picked herself up. She had to hurry to beat the darkness.  
  
She then realized that the lake was actually a twenty minute walk from their house. Just great.  
  
I can't see the street signs. I feel kind of scared, even for my kind of character.  
  
This was just dark. There's nothing to be afraid of.  
  
Come on, you spent half your lifetime around graveyards, you shouldn't feel scared.  
  
But she did. She wanted Yoh to be by her side. Maybe that was the scary part that Yoh didn't care about her. That she should just pack her things and get ready to go in the morning.  
  
Anna walked for some time, but didn't seem to find her house. I can't believe I didn't remember how to get home when it was dark. I always went out and got back home at a reasonable time when it was still light. I'm so stupid.  
  
She felt like crying out for help, for Yoh. This was too much. She sat down on a nearby bench and looked around. She was surrounded by trees.  
  
I must have walked into the park. There goes another loss of time.  
  
She picked up her feet from the ground and wrapped her arms around them.  
  
So cold.again.  
  
The only reasonable thing to do was to wait until it was morning and when it was light enough to see anything. Such a dark night, things just started to get weirder.  
  
I want to go home. To Grandma Asakura. She was the only person that truly ever worried about little Anna. Not Yoh.  
  
She wanted to cry but she couldn't. She had to keep herself in control.  
  
I'll go home in the morning. It's going to be ok. Ahh.but I feel really sleepy. I want my bed. My room. My Yoh.  
  
Anna shifted a little. Still cold. Not even a watch to find out the time. Not a single person to ask for directions. She could ask the ghosts but something held her back on doing that.  
  
Perhaps my Shaman powers met their end. She scolded herself for even considering such a thought. Maybe she should wander around some more. Something else held her back.  
  
Weird. Maybe I'm just paralyzed with fear. Pathetic.  
  
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Chapter 5 Preview: Someone comes for Anna.but who might it be? 


	5. My Yoh

Anna: I love this chapter. Oh, please read it!!!  
  
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She almost gave up any hope left in her when she heard someone's footsteps.  
  
Is it someone that wants to attack me? Perhaps rob me?  
  
She looked around. The footsteps died down. What was going on?  
  
Anna stood up.  
  
Cold, cold, cold! I want to go sit on the bench again.  
  
She shivered when she heard the footsteps approaching again, faster this time.  
  
And then.she wanted to cry with joy.  
  
Yoh.you came for me. You actually care that I wasn't at home.  
  
"What are you doing out here?" he asked.  
  
Trying to hide her excitement, she walked over to him.  
  
"I was just sitting here, thinking," she replied.  
  
"Kind of late for a stroll in the park," he said.  
  
Dork, I'm so happy you came. Let me hug you. No, I can't. Stop thinking that!  
  
"Yeah, well," said Anna. "I'm a weird person."  
  
Yoh laughed. He noticed that Anna was shivering violently now.  
  
"Here," he said. He took off his shirt and gave it to her.  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"Aren't you going to be cold shirt-less?" she said looking at his naked chest.  
  
"It's part of my training, since I didn't do any today," he said with a grin.  
  
Anna silently put on the shirt. It felt exactly the same as the last time she wore it. So warm, so soft.  
  
She walked past Yoh and continued down the road.  
  
He followed.  
  
Damn it, which way am I supposed to go? Since when am I the leader for this?  
  
She slowed down her pace, to let Yoh go in the front. But he didn't go past her. He stayed by her side.  
  
I love it that he is so caring all of a sudden. But then again, maybe he was always caring. Maybe a little arrogant, but still sweet.  
  
Silence. That was all to describe their behavior. Anna shifted the shirt closer to her, to try and make her warmer. But the only thing that can make her warm now is him.  
  
"How did you find me?" she asked.  
  
"Spirits." He said shortly. He sounded pretty angry.  
  
But why are you angry at me? He seems like he has a lot on his mind. They neared their house.  
  
I hope I can remember the way for future reference.  
  
Yoh opened the front door and she entered. She was still wearing his shirt. She was about to give it back to him when she noticed that he put on his training shirt.  
  
How could you understand that I wanted to wear this shirt for just a little more?  
  
She sat on the couch and felt him doing the same thing too. They sat in the darkness, the loneliness.  
  
Come on, think of something to say. Say something!  
  
"Arigato," she said in barely a whisper.  
  
"No problem." he said.  
  
She took off her bandana and put it between them.  
  
Such a great chance to apologize for her behavior, but she can't. Ever.  
  
She decided she wanted to go to bed. She reached for her bandana and met only Yoh's hand.  
  
What the.?  
  
"Yoh." she whispered.  
  
In the little light left in the room, she could see that he was taking off his headphones. He leaned over to her and put them over her ears. Her eyes were wide with confusion. She heard soft music in her ears. It was so peaceful. She leaned back on the couch's back and closed her eyes.  
  
Why did he do that? I don't care, I want to listen to this music. So soothing.  
  
Then Anna felt Yoh move toward her spot.  
  
Getting a bit freaky. What on earth is he planning to do?  
  
Yoh put his arm around her. Anna didn't try to protest. She was too interested in the music.  
  
Then something happened so quickly that Anna was blanked from any sound.  
  
The kiss.  
  
Yoh kissed Anna on the lips and that made her hot all over. Had Yoh planned this?  
  
A sweet tender kiss that would last a lifetime in my memory. Don't let go of me Yoh, I love you.  
  
The kiss broke. Anna didn't know what to do so she put her head on his lap and relaxed her whole body.  
  
The music was back. Better than ever.  
  
She felt him caressing her blonde hair.  
  
Anna snuggled against him, so relieved, so glad.  
  
"You were the first girl that I fell in love with," he whispered. "That still didn't change."  
  
Anna's eyes opened instantly. She didn't raise her head from his lap but told him that she felt the same way.  
  
Yoh.you are the one. The future Shaman King, my future husband. Thank you, Grandma Asakura.  
  
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Neko: I hope y'all enjoyed that! Cheers! 


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